In the company of other women

Friday is my favorite day of the week.  It is my first day of the weekend since I work part time and do not usually have to go in to my office job. It is set aside for all sorts of tasks and errands.  But, the main reason that I love Fridays is that breakfast usually finds me in the company of anywhere from one to seven wonderful women. We’ve been gathering in this way for most of the time I have lived in Utah, nearly twenty years. It has become a time devoted to catching up, solving problems, sharing ideas, exchanging gossip, and all the rewards of having women friends. 

I’ve always known that I am lucky to have such a regular, scheduled gathering, but a recent email correspondence with a friend reminded me of how treasured the event might be. She said that “it's always good to hear from other women.  I so much more appreciate these days how we see the world.”  More than just an email correspondence, my breakfast friends and I share a female perspective on how we see the world.

I usually don’t stop to appreciate that women do see the world differently. Much of what goes on at breakfast happens below the surface. It’s a time where listening takes place. We say things that others listen and respond to. Sitting at breakfast talking feels like sitting around a fireplace where the warmth is shared. It also allows us to all stop for a little while and get in touch and respect our feelings.  We have a place where we can cry in frustration or relief without judgment. The group listens and responds in kind, often getting teary along with the speaker, realizing that sometimes we all need a good cry.

Today’s breakfast was a large group of six. One friend who had re-joined the group recently just returned from a seminar on creativity. Another friend needed suggestions for doctors and restaurants. Quite a few of the people around the table had attended a memorial service for a man who died and left behind a young family. The other three of us attended a string quartet concert last night and had that to share.

I found that after a rather kid-intensive week, I needed to be with grown-ups and listening rather than talking and telling others what to do. The group allows the comfort to its member to decide what they need, without prying into the week uninvited. Often it feels to me like we have a lens focusing around the group, circling from member to member, as we discover what we need that day. 

When we leave, it feels like we always have more to say, even if breakfast has lasted over two hours, which it sometimes does.  We leave and go our separate ways knowing that our day has been made better by the companionship we share. The warmth of the fire of female companionship stays with us long after we leave.