Uneasiness and Downton Abbey

Where do vague feelings of uneasiness come from? I watched the last episode of Downton Abbey, season 3, with Charlie last night. At the end of a very long and uneventful episode where some of the cast to the Highlands of Scotland and others stay home and attend a country fair, Mary has her baby prematurely. After waiting anxiously at home for news, the family was relieved to learn that mother and baby were well. They then congratulate each other for their recent bit of good luck. But, looming just down the road literally was the death of the baby’s father. Having read too many spoilers before watching the show, I knew how it would end and found the writer’s attempt at deception even more annoying. I also found the whole ending a bit jarring. It lacked follow-through that would compel the audience to want to watch next season. But, like the show, next season is nearly a year from now if you live in the U.S., and feelings will lessen over time.

And yet, the show captured the feeling I have every time an unanticipated question or problem arises.  My boss asked me for some reports relating to vacation / sick leave tracking. After trying to figure out what he was looking for, I shot off some reports. Not before trying to find out if they were audit related or what not. At any rate, I felt uneasy, like I had done something wrong. Later I learned, not from him, that the whole system of tracking was having problems.

Charlie is traveling today and for the rest of the week. While I’m excited to have the time to play and watch things with the kids that are out of the ordinary routine, I’m also a little bit more apprehensive about where people are, if they are taken care of, and how things will go while he is away. I think I prefer being the traveler to the one left behind. This might have something to do with the fact that he’s going to New Orleans, a city that I like to visit and have found a new interest in since my folklore studies did readings from the region.

I think the unease may come from something deeper in my nature. It’s a feeling that things that I don’t have view of could go terribly wrong.  Probably a common view, and yet fairly unhealthy since I can’t possible watch over everything, especially as the kids grow up and go away.

Back to Downton Abbey, perhaps instead of deceit, the writers were allowing the viewers to see the joy that should have followed the birth of the baby. It was meant to be an uplifting moment, and the audience was the only party that could see the whole picture.  In this case, the show lives on in a moment of suspended anticipation of how could life continue after yet another tragic event. And yet, life does go on, and vague feelings are overcome.